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KARAOKE NIGHT AT THE SUICIDE SHACK
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VELEZ
The night I die, I put on my satin
pajamas. I put flowers everywhere, and I light candles. I fix all the pillow
just right. I arrange my bottles of perfume. I straighten my polar bear rug. I
dust my statue of Madonna and the crucifix over the bed. I lay down on my satin
sheets. I pour a glass of brandy, and I take seventy-five Seconal. I lay my
hands across my breast and I pray. I die like an angel. Like a Hollywood star.
WHALE
Suicide at the Casa Felicitas.
VELEZ
My happy home. I die in my movie
star room, in my movie star palace.
WHALE
Of course you’re aware of the
alternative accounts.
Shut up you big fairy!
WHALE
I refuse to hide anything about
myself. Why should I allow you?
VELEZ
Lupe die like a queen! The next day,
my maid Juanita find me. The police say, “She look like a doll in her big bed.”
Hedda say, Lupe was “glamorous to the end.” Louella say, “Lupe never look
lovelier.”
WHALE
But no photos accompanied the
articles. Listen up, gang. Here’s what really happened. The Seconal made Lupe
sick to her stomach -
VELEZ
It did not! I die in my sleep!
WHALE
Barely conscious, she dragged
herself across the room, vomiting all the way. When she reached the
orchid-tiled bathroom, she slipped and fell into the toilet. The next day, they
found her with her head buried in her Egyptian Chartreuse Hush-Flush Model
Deluxe Commode.
VELEZ
(losing the accent) You’re a
monster, Mr. Whale.
VELEZ, shattered, collapses into a
chair.
WHALE
I’ve earned the privilege.
PLATH
After all, you worked your way up
from the impoverished streets of Dudley.
WHALE turns to face PLATH.
LINKLETTER
I thought he was “gentry?”
PLATH
His father was a furnace man and his
mother, the daughter of a coal miner. He and his four siblings were crammed
into tiny rooms on Brewery St. From there, to the West End, to Hollywood. (to
WHALE) Yes, you have certainly earned the privilege.
WHALE
Who are you?
PLATH
(lightly) I am the mouthpiece of the
dead.
PLATH hands WHALE the microphone.
WHALE
I had a wonderful life. And when it
stopped being wonderful, I ended it. Thank you very much.
WHALE hands the microphone back to
PLATH. She hands it VELEZ.
PLATH
Why did you decide to die?
VELEZ
I couldn’t keep up that “The
Spitfire” routine forever. I got pregnant on purpose. It was Gary’s. He
wouldn’t marry me. No one would. What could I do? I couldn’t have an
illegitimate child - not in Hollywood - not then. I decided to die a beautiful
death, and to make myself immortal. But it didn’t work out.
WHALE
(gently, to make amends) In a way,
it did. The stories of your death made you a legend.
HOFFMAN
Andy Warhol even made a movie about
you. You were played by a really hot drag queen.
LINKLETTER
(to VELEZ) Don’t feel bad. Some guy
from Baltimore made “The Diane Linkletter Story” and I was played by a man, too
- a big fat man in a dress.
VELEZ
(sincere and direct.) I’ll tell you
where we met, Mr. Hemingway. It was at the New York premiere of your movie,
“For Whom The Bell Tolls” Gary Cooper went with his wife - and I followed. You
kissed my hand and I thought, “A girl like me, from the dusty streets of
Mexico, meets the greatest writer who ever lived.” I was so happy.
PLATH
We’ve all exposed our war wounds,
Hemingway. It’s your turn. No more hiding.
HOFFMAN
Yeah, man, I mean, if you could kill
yourself, anyone could.
PLATH
Your reasons are our reasons.
One by one, they approach HEMINGWAY.
HOFFMAN
Were your ideals fading?
DANDRIDGE
You couldn’t maintain the myth you
created?
ROTHKO
Had you resorted to self-imitation
in your work?
COBAIN
Yeah, were you like - doing the same
stuff over and over?
VELEZ
Was it getting harder to keep up the
image?
WHALE
Were all your youthful dreams
fulfilled?
LINKLETTER
It had something to do with your
father, right?
MARGARET
Were you hearing voices?
SEXTON
Tell ‘em, Papa. You were too godlike
to cope with the stress most men endure.
HEMINGWAY
I’m not like all of you! Leave me
alone! C’mon, Spitfire, I’m ready for you now!
HEMINGWAY grabs VELEZ.
VELEZ
No, Papa, no! Please!
HEMINGWAY drags her offstage. PLATH
stands near the door when they exited. MARGARET dims the lights. ROTHKO takes
the microphone and sings, simply.
During the song, VELEZ can be heard
struggling with HEMINGWAY.
The other patrons slowly return to
the tables.
ROTHKO
There may be
trouble ahead
But while
there’s music and moonlight
And love and
romance
Let’s face
the music and dance.
Before the
fiddler has fled
Before they
ask us to pay the bill
And while we
still have a chance
Let’s face
the music and dance
Soon, we’ll
be without the moon
Humming a
different tune, and then,
There may be
teardrops to shed
But while
there’s music and moonlight
And love and
romance
Let’s face
the music and dance.
Soon, we’ll
be without the moon
Humming a
different tune, and then,
There may be
teardrops to shed
But while
there’s music and moonlight
And love and
romance
Let’s face
the music and dance.
VELEZ comes back into the club. She
sits at the bar. After a few moments, HEMINGWAY follows. He looks distraught.
He approaches VELEZ, awkwardly, apologetically.
VELEZ
It’s okay, Papa. It can happen to
any man.
PLATH
(handing him the microphone) Even
Hemingway.
HEMINGWAY
Our nada, who art in nada, nada be
thy name. I got up early. I found the key to the storage room where I kept the
guns. Hail nothing full of nothing, nothing is with thee. I put the twin
barrels to my forehead and fired. Just like my father.
LINKLETTER
I knew it.
HEMINGWAY
I carried that burden with me my
whole life. Would I follow in his footsteps? The old man always told me, “Only
a coward kills himself.” Then he shoots his head off! He shamed me. He let my
mother bully him. She broke his balls. I swore I’d never let a woman do that to
me. I fought back. But when I couldn’t write anymore - (he looks at PLATH) -
“Daddy, daddy, you bastard, I’m through.”
PLATH
Death gave you dignity, Papa. It
gave all of us dignity.
SEXTON
You became more real.
HEMINGWAY
(simply) I died. Like all of you.
After that I was dead.
PLATH gives HEMINGWAY a gentle hug.
PLATH
Suicide is transformation. We are
all reborn.
SEXTON
That’s why I wanted an elegant death
- unmutilated. Just in case.
VELEZ
I wanted to look like the queen of
Hollywood.
DANDRIDGE
I looked like hell. I left strict
instructions for a closed coffin.
PLATH
The perfect wife and mother, her
head in the oven like shepherd’s pie.
WHALE
I threw myself into the pool - and I
couldn’t swim.
LINKLETTER
I just wanted it over, quick.
MARGARET
Me too. Something that couldn’t go
wrong.
COBAIN
First, I shot up enough smack to
kill me. Just in case.
ROTHKO
I was ritualistic.
HOFFMAN
It was my last political act.
I had to get out before my beliefs were destroyed.
I wanted to hurt my father.
DANDRIDGE
That’s not it.
LINKLETTER
How do you know? What do you know
about bringing up a kid?
DANDRIDGE
That’s true, Diane. But I’ve been
around. I know the business. C’mon, you can tell us.
LINKLETTER
(a beat, then) I knew I’d never make
it as an actress. That’s why I jumped. I wanted to be famous, but I didn’t have
any talent.
MARGARET
Me, I love famous people. The day
People Magazine came out, I got me a year’s subscription.
LINKLETTER
You guys created things. Incredible
things! You’re fucking immortal. What did I leave behind? Just a few cookies.
LINKLETTER exits.
MARGARET
I know what she means. I always
wanted to be a creative genius like you guys. I even tried to write a poem. It
rhymes.
SEXTON
I love rhymes. Let’s hear it.
MARGARET
Okay, here goes.
“While
dwelling in the shell of respectability,
I am begging
for one soulful seed of eternity.
Please
release this madness seething inside.
So that the
external forces will not collide.”
It stinks, right? But I wrote it
myself.
HOFFMAN
That’s what counts, man. You made it
happen.
COBAIN
Tons of kids picked up guitars and
made music ‘cause of us. (amused) Bad music.
VELEZ
Me, I made people laugh.
WHALE
My horror movies are classics now.
They write scholarly studies about them as if they were “The Battleship
Potemkin.”
SEXTON
I poured my life into those damn
poems!
DANDRIDGE
They say I paved the road for black
actors in Hollywood. Not what I had it mind, but so be it.
ROTHKO
I made the art I wanted to make.
PLATH
“Axes, after whose stroke the wood
rings, and the echoes.”
HEMINGWAY
A country erodes and the dust blows
away. The people die, and none of them matter - except those who made art.
HOFFMAN
We changed the world.
WHALE
(lightly) But remember -
“There are bad times just around the corner…”
HOFFMAN
Okay, for a while, anyway.
MARGARET
Well, folks, it’s about time to call
it a night here at the Suicide Shack. I sure enjoyed having you all here, and I
hope to see you back for Karaoke night real soon.
PLATH
(handing MARGARET a request)
Margaret, why don’t we say goodbye with this?
MARGARET
(reading the request) Aww. I’ve
always had a soft spot in my heart for Karen Carpenter.
The music begins. The Carpenter’s
“We’ve Only Just Begun.”
SEXTON
(to PLATH) “O friend. While the
moon’s bad, and the king’s gone, and the queen’s at her wit’s end, the bar fly
ought to sing!”
PLATH
We’ve only
just begun
To live
White lace
and promises
A kiss for
luck and we’re on our way
We’ve only
begun.
The rest of the CAST, except ROTHKO
and DANDRIDGE, sings back up.
:
PLATH
Before the
rising sun,
We fly.
So many
roads to choose
We’ll start
out walking and learn to run
CAST
And yet
we’ve just begun.
PLATH approaches HEMINGWAY’s table.
She offers him her arm. He accepts, and she leads him to the stage area, where
they dance.
PLATH resumes the vocal, as
HEMINGWAY joins VALEZ at the bar. They whisper a moment, then he takes her by
the arm and they dance.
SEXTON grabs HOFFMAN, and they dance
provocatively.
MARGARET approaches ROTHKO, but he
downs his drink, and leaves the club. She watches him from the door.
DANDRIDGE dumps two dollars and
fourteen cents out of her purse and onto the counter, puts on her scarf and
hurries out.
PLATH
Sharing
horizons that are new to us
Watching the
signs along the way
Talking it
over just the two of us
Working
together day to day
PLATH AND
CAST
Together…
THE END
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